24.09.2024 Struggle - balance

These days are becoming struggles more and more. i’m tired after only an hour of work, i’m anxious about how much i could be doing. It’s even impacting my memories of the past months negatively, since my brain finds the reasons for my current struggles there. i want to refuse that judgement, or at least it’s totalizing aspect. i do need to change my habits again. So much to organize, so much to plan, so much to think about. The lack of balance in the recent past has not been negative, quite the contrary. Balance is not automatically good. Rigid balance is antithetical to living in reality much more often than not. But i do require a re-turn to some (more) balance, because currently i’m living on a minimum.